


Saint like

by Vintage_Beast



Series: Ghostly crushes [1]
Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Chairs, Dirty Jokes, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Ghosts, Humour, I swear its not crack, Other, Slice of Life, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, mutal appreciation of chair legs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vintage_Beast/pseuds/Vintage_Beast
Summary: So basically, I felt really sorry in 2X06 when Humphrey explained about his wife and that she never laughed at his jokes. So yeah just a weird little fluff thing cos I feel sorry for him XD.A lady comes to fix a sofa and Humphrey gets left in the same room as her as she fixes it.it sounds like crack, I swear it's not it's funny and fluff. there is one dirt joke from Julian near the end.
Relationships: Humphrey's Head (Ghosts TV 2019)/Original Female Character(s), One Whole Humphrey (Ghosts TV 2019)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Ghostly crushes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018648
Comments: 15
Kudos: 44





	Saint like

**Author's Note:**

> As always please leave comments I love them! and anyone is welcome to use this OC in their own stuff just make sure to message and show me!

A car pulls up outside button house, A few of ghosts lined up at the window frame looking down at the small car, playing music. The girl in the car parks out but doesn't leave till she finishes a drum solo on the dashboard. In her late 20s, brown hair, pulled back in a head wrap, with heavy eye makeup and painted lips. 

"oh Heck I wonder what she is listening to? " Pat says quizzically.

"When she obviously doesn't know how to play the drums properly her foot going to quick." the captain quirking an eyebrow.

At that moment Fanny interjects shouting through the room, carrying Humphrey head, dropping it rolls to one of the sofas near the fireplace. "Well then that was a short ride," he says as he rolls landing on his right ear.

"Alison, Alison! Get her to move now. She can't be that close to the lawn. Alison!" Fanny bellows. Reaching the front door Alison putting on her coat.

"Calm down shes only close to bring her tools in, ill go out and help her then she can move the car." facing forward, just winching waiting for Fannies reply.

"need I remind you she's only here because of your wild parties! The furniture is ruined, I don't see how this one person will be qualified to handle such precious items! "

"Look shes doing this for free shes a friends daughter, she's the best I can get, be glad I'm trying to fix it fanny!" 

Tutting she rolls her eyes and walks away. Kitty had now joined in the hallway. " oh wonderful, a new friend Alison will she be staying long? Will she be having tea?"

"She hasn't even got out the car yet and your all freaking out, you lot can't be like this every time someone new appears. Kitty, you'll meet her later go and wait you can see her later. "

finally getting out to the car to meet the girl. She had just gotten out, walking towards Alison with a tool bag and roll of fabric. Wearing dungarees and band top, of the singer blondie. "hello there you must be Alison!"

"Hi there! Do you want to come in and get set up? Thanks for doing this by the -" Fanny pokes her head out one of the windows and starts shouting about the car again. "Actually would you mind moving your car over a bit just in case someone else needs to get in ill take these for you if you like?" grabbing the roll of fabric and toolbox " ill take them inside, so you don't run them over! Yes nice and out of the way"Alison turns on her heel to the door, muttering"so you don't run them over a stupid thing to say " 

getting back to the porch a few more ghosts have turned up. "So Alison did you hear what she was playing at all?" Pat asks nicely 

"Can she be trusted her drumming was very fast i think that my reflect her work, could be slap dashed." the captain joined in.

Julian having also arrived "Meh, these women these days being involved in manual labour, Although helps train them for any heavy lift-"

"Right I'm going to shut you right up there Julian, shes here to work for free shes helping the house. Captain, I don't know how she works, I'm pretty sure shell do fine, though." finally turning to pat giving him a sympathetic smile. "I didn't hear what she was playing but she's wearing a blondie top"

"Oh, good choice I can only guess then it was some decent tunes she was playing." Turning to the Captain " If her taste in music is that good, she will do a good job creatively too I'm sure of it." 

Alison looking behind her "here she comes if I put the telly on will you all leave her alone for the day"

"Dibs on Tanks of the world!" the captain excitedly shouts. 

"Who are you sticking the telly on for?" the girl now at the door very short, probably closest to pat in height.

Alison thinking quickly "Oh you know the pets, be there in a minute."

The girl giggles "I speak to my cats to, I told them id be back later."

Letting out a sigh of relief. " shall I show you to the sofa?" helping her collect her things.

Walking into the living room, Alison gestures to the sofa. Before clocking Humphrey head on the floor. A little taken aback as always hadn't factored him into it. The girl, on the other hand, squealed and when running over the sofa. "its a Georgian piece isn't it." kneeling down "look at the claw lion feet."

"That's the first thing I noticed about them too!" Humphrey exclaimed a bit too excitedly. Normally people werent looking down when they came into a room. " you should tell her there's a doe foot one in Fannies room, I expect her reaction would be great to that!"

"There are ones with different feet around the house, you know, a doe foot one or something?" 

"oh, a pied de Biche?"

"wow," Humphrey exclaims again, "She knows the how to say it in french to."

"Er, sorry got carried away, there are quite a few holes in the fabric isn't there, does that make it a Holy couch?" she quips. 

Humphrey chuckles " when you sit on it does that mean it makes you feel saint-like?"

Alison blurts out that his retaught "That's a terrible joke!"

"Excuse me?" The girl turns around to look towards Alison. 

"Oh no, not yours! It just reminded me of a friends joke! When you sit on it will make you feel saint-like, you know because it's Holy."

The girl cracks a smile, letting out a hoot of laugher. Cackling almost, slamming the floor next to her. Humphrey was elated that someone had found him funny. As he had explained before his wife couldn't communicate to him, being younger and french. She wouldn't even laugh with him. He could never make her happy for love nor money. So making this pretty girl laugh like that was wonderful. 

"I didn't think it was that funny, " Alison replied surprised at the reaction 

"You know it really does make you higher. " Cackling again. Producing another smirk from Humphrey. "get it ? cos when you sit on a chair your closer to heaven." Her head thrown back. 

"Right ill leave you to it then? Again thanks for doing it again."Looking towards her but really it was to Humphrey. He mouthed to her.

"Let me stay. I like her."

"You can put on whatever music you like by the way, we have no wifi, though."

"that's fine ill just stick on one of my podcasts, I've got a few stand-up shows to keep me going. My rock music will distract me to much" she takes out her phone. " ill sees you in a while just carry on like I'm not here."

Hours when by, without her knowing she had company, laughing with her along to the stand-up shows. Humphrey in a way though it was brilliant if he could actually stand up. Mary accidentally walked in on the scene and asked if he wanted to be moved he just asked if he could be put upright, with a silly grin on his face. 

she left the two of them to find the others in the tv room. 

"ah mary anything to report." the captain says looking away from the telly for a moment

Fiddling with her apron looking down "I's shouldn't be telling yous. Humphrey be in love with the witch with the hammer and fabric."

"OH." Pat realising what she was saying, "We left Humphrey in the room with the upholster."

"Is there a notion of love within these walls?" Thomas poking his head through the wall seems like any mention of love, him or kitty appeared. 

"Calm down Thomas, Mary what makes you say he's in love?" Pat raises a hand towards him.

"He be having the same smile that Alison has when watching Mike work."

"Then we will let them be."

"Well, that's another tragic love story for the house, isn't it. He can only give head. " Julian winks at the captain who is none the wiser still looking at the tanks. 

"That's it I'm done!" Alison hears upon returning to the room, quietly nodding to Humphrey.

"thank you again. I can't thank you enough."

"There is one way you can pay me, maybe I could come back and have a look at the other chair legs." smiling again letting out a laugh. 

"I'm sure that can be arranged." Alison looks passed the girl to Humphrey, who if he could, would be nodding in agreement.


End file.
